This is a collection of articles, blogs, information, and resources for

adults and adolescents looking to improve their mental health

Nikki Gorman Nikki Gorman

Anxiety Isn’t Always Obvious: Subtle Signs You Might Be Struggling

Anxiety Looks Different for Everyone

When people think of anxiety, they often imagine panic attacks or constant worry. In reality, anxiety can be subtle and deeply ingrained in daily habits and thought patterns.

Many individuals live with anxiety for years without realizing it, especially if they’ve learned to push through discomfort or stay busy to cope.

Common Subtle Signs of Anxiety

Anxiety may show up as:

  • Overthinking and mental replaying

  • Muscle tension or jaw clenching

  • Difficulty relaxing, even during downtime

  • Irritability or restlessness

  • Trouble sleeping

  • Digestive discomfort

  • Feeling constantly “on edge”

These symptoms often reflect a nervous system that’s stuck in a heightened state of alert.

Why Anxiety Persists

Anxiety is the body’s natural response to perceived threat. When stress is chronic, the nervous system may struggle to return to a calm state. Over time, this can feel exhausting and overwhelming.

Therapy helps identify triggers, thought patterns, and physiological responses that maintain anxiety.

How Therapy Helps With Anxiety

Therapy for anxiety often includes:

  • Learning nervous system regulation skills

  • Challenging unhelpful thought patterns

  • Building emotional awareness

  • Developing coping strategies that reduce avoidance

With support, anxiety becomes more manageable and less controlling.

Anxiety Support at Southview Counseling

At Southview Counseling, anxiety treatment is personalized and paced to your comfort. Whether anxiety feels mild or overwhelming, therapy offers tools to help you feel calmer, more present, and more in control.

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Nikki Gorman Nikki Gorman

What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy and How Does It Help With Trauma?

Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a trauma-informed, evidence-based approach that views the mind as made up of different “parts,” each with its own feelings, beliefs, and roles. Rather than seeing symptoms as problems to eliminate, IFS understands them as protective responses that developed for a reason.

IFS is especially effective for trauma because it does not require reliving painful experiences in detail. Instead, it focuses on creating safety, curiosity, and compassion toward your internal experience.

What Are “Parts” in IFS?

In IFS therapy, parts are aspects of ourselves that formed to help us survive. Common categories include:

  • Protective parts that manage daily life, avoid pain, or keep emotions contained

  • Reactive parts that may show up as anxiety, anger, people-pleasing, or perfectionism

  • Wounded parts that carry the emotional impact of past trauma

None of these parts are bad or broken. Each developed to protect you, even if their strategies are no longer helpful.

The Role of the Self in IFS

A core concept of IFS is the idea of the “Self” — a calm, grounded state that exists within everyone. The Self is characterized by qualities such as compassion, clarity, curiosity, and confidence.

In IFS therapy, healing occurs when parts feel safe enough to connect with the Self. Rather than forcing change, the process allows parts to relax once they no longer feel alone or overwhelmed.

How IFS Helps Heal Trauma

Trauma can cause parts of the nervous system to become stuck in survival mode. IFS works gently with these responses by:

  • Increasing internal safety

  • Reducing internal conflict

  • Allowing protective parts to soften

  • Helping wounded parts release emotional burdens

Because IFS is non-pathologizing and collaborative, many clients find it empowering and deeply respectful of their lived experience.

What to Expect in IFS Therapy

IFS therapy moves at a pace guided by your system. Sessions often involve noticing internal sensations, emotions, or thoughts and developing a curious relationship with them. There is no pressure to share details before you’re ready.

IFS can be used on its own or integrated with other trauma therapies such as EMDR and DBT.

IFS Therapy at Southview Counseling

At Southview Counseling, IFS therapy is offered as part of a trauma-informed approach to healing. Therapy is collaborative, respectful, and centered on helping you feel safe within yourself.

If you’re curious about IFS, therapy can be a powerful way to better understand your inner world and begin healing from trauma with compassion.

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Nikki Gorman Nikki Gorman

What Happens in Your First Therapy Session? A Step-by-Step Guide

Preparing for Your First Therapy Appointment

Starting therapy often brings a mix of relief and anxiety. Many people worry about what they should say, how personal they need to be, or whether they’ll be judged. The first therapy session is designed to help you feel oriented, safe, and informed — not pressured.

Step 1: Introductions and Logistics

Your therapist will begin by reviewing confidentiality, informed consent, and session structure. This includes explaining how privacy works, limits to confidentiality, and how telehealth sessions operate if you’re meeting online.

This portion ensures you understand your rights and feel comfortable moving forward.

Step 2: Discussing What Brought You In

You’ll be invited to share what led you to seek therapy. This can be brief or detailed — there’s no expectation to tell your entire life story. Many clients start by describing recent stressors, emotions, or concerns.

If you’re unsure where to begin, that’s okay. Therapists are trained to guide the conversation gently.

Step 3: Exploring Goals for Therapy

Together, you’ll discuss what you hope to gain from therapy. Goals may include reducing anxiety, improving relationships, coping with stress, or understanding emotional patterns.

These goals can change over time and are revisited as therapy progresses.

Step 4: What You’ll Leave With

Many clients leave the first session feeling relieved or lighter. While deep change takes time, simply being heard in a nonjudgmental space can feel validating.

You may also receive initial coping strategies or reflections to consider between sessions.

First Sessions at Southview Counseling

At Southview Counseling, first sessions are paced with care. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or returning after a break, the focus is on creating a supportive, respectful experience that meets you where you are.

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Nikki Gorman Nikki Gorman

How to Know If Therapy Is Right for You (Even If You’re Functioning)

You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis to Start Therapy

Many people hesitate to start therapy because they believe their struggles aren’t “bad enough.” They may be working, caring for their family, and meeting responsibilities — yet still feel emotionally exhausted, disconnected, or overwhelmed. If this sounds familiar, therapy may be more appropriate than you think.

Functioning on the outside doesn’t always reflect how you feel internally. Therapy isn’t only for moments of crisis; it’s also for people who want to better understand themselves, improve emotional well-being, and prevent burnout before it escalates.

Signs Therapy Might Be Helpful

Even if you’re functioning, therapy may be beneficial if you experience:

  • Ongoing anxiety or worry that’s hard to quiet

  • Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected

  • Chronic stress or irritability

  • Trouble sleeping or relaxing

  • Difficulty enjoying things you used to enjoy

  • Relationship tension or communication struggles

  • Feeling “stuck” without knowing why

These experiences often signal that your nervous system has been under prolonged stress. Therapy provides a space to slow down and address what’s happening beneath the surface.

Therapy as Preventative Mental Health Care

Just as people see a doctor for preventative care, therapy can support mental and emotional health before symptoms worsen. Addressing concerns early can reduce the likelihood of burnout, anxiety disorders, or depression later on.

Therapy also helps increase self-awareness, emotional regulation, and coping skills — tools that improve not just current well-being but long-term resilience.

What Therapy Looks Like When You’re “Doing Okay”

Therapy isn’t about fixing something that’s broken. It’s about understanding patterns, processing emotions, and learning healthier ways to respond to stress. Sessions may focus on:

  • Identifying emotional triggers

  • Exploring thought patterns

  • Building boundaries

  • Improving communication

  • Developing stress-management tools

You set the pace. There’s no requirement to share anything before you’re ready.

Starting Therapy at Southview Counseling

At Southview Counseling, therapy is collaborative, supportive, and tailored to your needs. Whether you’re navigating stress, life transitions, or long-standing emotional patterns, therapy can help you feel more grounded and aligned with yourself.

If you’ve been wondering whether therapy is right for you, that curiosity alone is often a sign it may be time to explore support.

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Nikki Gorman Nikki Gorman

Not Ready for EMDR? How DBT Helps Build Safety and Readiness

Wanting Trauma Healing but Not Feeling Ready

Many people are drawn to EMDR because they want relief from the effects of trauma, yet feel unsure about starting trauma processing right away. This hesitation is common — and valid. Trauma therapy works best when your nervous system has enough stability and support to tolerate deeper work.

Being “not ready” does not mean therapy won’t help. In fact, building readiness is often an important and necessary part of trauma recovery.

Why Readiness Matters in EMDR

EMDR is a powerful trauma-processing approach, but it requires the ability to stay present, regulate emotions, and return to a sense of safety during and after sessions. If coping resources are limited, trauma processing can feel overwhelming rather than healing.

This is where Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can play a supportive role.

How DBT Supports Trauma Stabilization

DBT is a skills-based therapy that helps clients build emotional and nervous system regulation. For individuals interested in EMDR, DBT can provide a strong foundation by teaching skills such as:

  • Emotional regulation

  • Distress tolerance

  • Grounding and self-soothing

  • Interpersonal effectiveness

  • Mindfulness and present-moment awareness

These skills help clients feel more in control of emotional responses and less afraid of intense feelings.

DBT as a Bridge, Not a Detour

Using DBT before EMDR is not a step backward — it’s often a strategic and compassionate choice. DBT helps reduce crisis behaviors, increase emotional safety, and strengthen trust in one’s ability to cope.

As clients gain confidence in their skills, trauma processing often feels less intimidating and more manageable.

Integrating DBT With Trauma Therapy

DBT can be used on its own or integrated alongside trauma-informed approaches like IFS and EMDR. This flexible approach allows therapy to adapt to your readiness rather than forcing a timeline.

Therapy progresses when your system feels safe enough — not when it’s rushed.

DBT and Trauma Therapy at Southview Counseling

At Southview Counseling, DBT is used thoughtfully as part of a trauma-informed treatment plan. If you’re interested in EMDR but not ready yet, therapy can focus on building skills, stability, and internal safety first.

Healing does not require pushing past your limits. With the right support, readiness develops naturally over time.

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