Wake Up with Enthusiasm: Shake Up Your Routine to Combat the Morning Blues

Mornings can be tough

Ok, so maybe you won’t wake-up with enthusiasm … but you can definitely create a silver lining! Waking up and starting a morning routine can be extremely difficult, for many people. You stayed up late finishing a show, are really not in the mood for office drama today, have an unfinished assignment that you have know about for weeks, or you just want to avoid the daunting task of hair and make-up. Yuck! First, accept that you do not wake up singing, with birds chirping and Disney music playing all around. Judging yourself will only make things worse. Instead, think about ways to change your morning routine, as oppose to changing who you are.

Add to your routine

Adding something you enjoy or a reward to your routine can give you something to look forward to in the morning. The sweeter the better! Pairing something you enjoy with something you don’t can help you find balance and reduce the urge to lay in bed until the last minute. Jumping up to the snooze alarm, struggling to find something that matches and slapping on some face paint, only to get your kids on the bus without a minute to spare, is a recipe for stress and avoidance.

Instead, be mindful of things that make you feel happy or calm and challenge yourself to incorporate them into your morning. Try setting up a phone on the counter and stream your favorite show while doing your hair and make-up. Buy a new flavor of coffee that you have been wanting to try and change your alarm from “work alarm” or “school alarm” to “COFFEE EXTRAVAGANZA!!” Make a playlist of your favorite songs, but only allow yourself to listen while you get ready in the AM. A big one for me is to choose and try-on two compete outfits before bed and have them ready to go in the morning. This helps me to feel more prepared and on-my-game, while also eliminating wardrobe stress and the tendency to do ineffective outfit planning in my head. A mind-trick excuse for 5 more minutes, that never actually works. Try something everyday for one week and see if it helps. Be flexible and make adjustments until you’ve got a more enjoyable reason to get up than hearing about Anna and why she won’t do edits for Greg anymore.

Be mindful

I can’t say this enough … Let go of any judgments you have about yourself in the morning. Just because you hit the snooze button doesn’t mean you are not a morning person; it just means that you hit the snooze button. While you are at it, let go of judging the things that get you excited for the morning. Who cares that Andy Cohen and the Housewives are the reason you were able to rip off the sheets 15 minutes early today!? Plus, no one even has to know. This can be your time and you can choose to make it just so.

- Nikki Gorman, MA, LPCC

Fight Procrastination: Break Down Tasks to Complete Them with Less Anxiety

Avoidance and procrastination

As I sit and make my week's To-Do List, I am completely aware that I use these lists as a form of procrastination. I can make a list of tasks to complete, organize, color code, and put on the calendar. It sounds productive, right!? Wrong. What you might have guessed, is that I already did this yesterday. I am using this form of being "productive" to avoid just sitting down and completing the tasks. I might look busy and motivated, but am not fooling anyone, especially not myself.

So, why do it? The answer is simple ... avoidance and procrastination. Sometimes we get ourselves into a habit of organizing and preparing instead of actually doing. While part of this is derived from habit, the other part is also anxiety. Even the smallest task can seem major when it is pushed off and carried over from day-to-day. 

Break it down and commit

When tasks start to feel too big to tackle, then it is time to break them down and commit to completing the smaller steps. Start with One-Thing-At-A-Time!! Follow your usual routine of making and organizing a To-Do List, but this time do it with intent and less anxiety. Make a list of things you want to accomplish, then pick just one thing, and hide the list for later. Now, break that one thing down into many small tasks and focus on just the first item again. Pick a day and time to complete the first small step towards your larger goal. When you finish the first step, make sure to cross it off the list, not only because you deserve that feeling of gratification, but your brain will also release a shot of dopamine and increase motivation to get more done. Win-Win!! 

Tony has struggled with procrastination his entire life. He avoids completing homework until the night before, his closet has become his bedroom floor, and his apartment is a disaster zone. When he looks around at the mess, he feels overwhelmed and discouraged. "It's been like this all summer," he thinks. "Let's be honest, I'm never going to clean it and just need to accept that I am a messy person."  

Ouch! Tony is having a HUGE distortion by identifying himself with his mess. This thought process will keep him down, instead of provide him with encouragement. Tony decides to bring it up in therapy and works to create a smaller lists of things he wants to clean. He chooses to start by focusing on just the laundry. He makes a list of steps to complete the laundry and makes a goal to focus on the first small task. Grab a basket and walk around collecting all the dirty clothes. That's it, that's his homework for the week! This doesn't clean the clothes or clean his apartment, but it is a start and more than he has been doing. Afterwards, he feels like that was pretty easy and proud of himself for setting a goal and completing it. Tony can't wait to tell his counselor of his success. Tony will be more likely to complete the next step, because he had a positive experience. Nice job, Tony!

Be mindful

Throughout the day be mindful of things you have completed, NOT your dreaded To-Do List. This will help you to stay motivated and build a sense of confidence that you are someone who gets things done! Yes, you!

 - Nikki Gorman, MA, LPCC

Decision Making Anxiety: Identify Your Values to Help Make Decisions and Manage Anxiety

The dreaded back and forth

Replaying possible outcomes, over and over and over, can keep you up at night and glued to your screen with anticipation. A student might to choose to skip school with her friends in order to avoid the anxiety of them talking about her poorly or not asking to hang out again, but instead spends the time with her friends feeling guilty and fearing consequences. This leads to added stress and a domino effect of poor decision making to come. Often, we are making decisions in the moment with feelings of unease and pressure, leaving us with regret and insecurities. One way to handle the pressure is to hope for the best and use any missteps as learning opportunities, just information for future choices. A more helpful alternative is to prepare for confident decision making, the first time around. Identifying and applying your values can be the most powerful tool on your belt for making decisions with less stress, less regret, and more confidence. 

Use values to manage the anxiety

Values are a big topic of conversation, but how do you know what values even are and which ones you actually follow? We talk about the idea of values in the media and in conversation. We hear about other's values and can often make decisions (in the moment) as to whether or not we agree. This is great for exposure, but we are not always informed and often make choices based on emotions, not our true values, making it all the more important to be thinking about and organizing them on your own. Family, friends, courage, wisdom, compassion, beauty, money, are just a few common values, but there are so many more that can help to build your moral compass. Taking time to consider the things you value the most and the things you value the least can help you build a strong sense-of-self and can be used later as tools for making difficult and every-day decisions. Here's how ...

Download a list of values and look through them carefully. Wisdom, curiosity, fame, fortune, family, spirituality are only just the tip of the iceberg. Take time to look up the ones you have not heard of or would like to know a little more about. Then choose 5 things you might value the most and 5 things you value the least. For extra support, see if you can rank them.

Write them down and keep them in an easy access location. Use this list throughout the day when faced with decisions big and small. Notice how the process changes. Do I have a second cup of coffee? Do I stay in traffic or take a different route? Do I volunteer for an extra assignment? Do I stay home sick or suck it up? Do I ask for help or try it on my own and risk mistakes, but gain knowledge? Having even a short list of values won’t make these decisions for you, but can give you support in-the-moment. Reading through them can provide more time to make the decision, reducing the feelings of pressure and the chances of regret later. Making decisions based on our values helps you stay true to yourself and increases your confidence. 

Take this common experience ... Sarah has one class left and the day seems never ending. As she walks to room 31, a group of friends approach her and complain about the long day. One person suggests that they all just skip and take much needed time to socialize and relax. Everyone agrees and then looks at Sarah. "Oh no," she thinks. "What do I do? If I say no, I'll miss out on everything and sit in class wishing I was anywhere else. What if there is a quiz? What if my parents find out and I get in trouble?" Sarah has worked on helpful decision making with her counselor and remembers to pull out her phone and look at her top 5 values. FRIENDS, FREEDOM, FAMILY, TECHNOLOGY, and STYLE. She decided to head to class and meet up with them later. Sarah feels confident about this decision and is able to focus in class and text her friends after the bell ... Ok, she texted them under her desk 5 minutes before the bell, but don't we all do this in some form?! She made this effective decision, to stay in class, based on her values. She knows that she could get in trouble and get grounded (freedom) without her phone (technology) making it harder to talk to them later (friends) and possibly disappoint her mom (family.) Way to go Sarah! This decision still provides Sarah with information for the future and she faces less consequences as a result.  

See for yourself

Sarah shows us that making decisions in-the-moment doesn't have to be scary, and can actually reduce anxiety long-term, if we are prepared and take opportunities to practice. If you are seeing a counselor, this is a great topic to bring up and explore in session! Save your nights for sleep, not worry. Give it a try now by downloading this Personal Values Card Sort

- Nikki Gorman, MA, LPCC